When Answers Might Not Be Answers

Remember the good old days where multiple-choice-questions (MCQ) were about choosing the right or best answer among the options given?

Forget about those old style way. Welcome to our Microbiology lab test, where:

Mr Ng :" Notice that there are 47 marks for multiple choice questions?"

(yameh? I'm sure everyone was looking at how many questions were there, what kind of question he ask..marks? later la, when i start anwering..)

" That means some questions might have more than one answer."

"Har? Hm? What? Okkaayyy...."

Wait for it...
...........

...........

...........

...........

" Some questions might have no answer."

"HAR? WHAT? WALAU EH! Like this also can?? "

Exactly. This was how the whole class responded. And I'm not exaggerating.


I was thinking after that. Maybe life is not about choosing 'the right thing', 'the right way'. How can we know we had made the right decision? Instead of thinking about making the right choice, we could select few options or if we don't like it at all, then just ignore them completely! Life could be much easier, right?

People has been getting lazier day by day. There is only a week to go before our study week starts. No thanks to continuous test, lab test, quiz that we used as excuse to 'ponteng' lecture.


Ok, back to physiology lab test for tomorrow where I have no choice but to study hard for it.. AAaHHH!!

When Tears Run Dry

I thought I can handle it. I can't

It's like sprinkling salt on a stab wound. The two sentences on your blog, hurts so much.

Ever tried crying until there are simply no more tears?

I just tried that, feels like suffocation..

It's already 6am, but I can't sleep..

p/s: thanks for being there when I needed somebody, thanks for those hugs...

Patience. Limits. Disappointments. Tired.

I think I just made things from bad to worse this afternoon. I tried to constrain myself..but at the same time, I just can't do it anymore. That's it. You had crossed the line when you made the comment.

For how many times this year I tried to understand you, sometimes even make up excuses for you to convince myself that I am wrong, I am the one that is short-sighted. For how many times I tried to shut away, to ignore those feelings of disappointments from getting in between our friendship. I know everyone's personality are not the same. That's why I tried to convince myself every time it's my fault for not understanding you, my fault of getting not patience enough.

You had changed a lot this semester. I know you are very focused on test,quiz, and so on, but so is everyone else in this course. You changed a lot these especially these few weeks. I am not sure is it because of his influence ( if it is, I can't blame anyone cause he is your bf and of course he has the right to influence you). But today, I really had it. The stuffs that you said, it really hurts. I don't know why. I had heard this comment for countless times. But hearing it from you, it's really painful. I tried to believe it is not you that type those words. I tried to give you hints that I'm upset. But you didn't get it and you sounded serious. Not the usual you that I know.

I am tired of everything suddenly. Stress are building like crazy these days. About studies, about friends, and about you.

You are my best friend. I know I had made things more complicated. I do hope things can change back to where it was. I am sorry that I had made you upset.

I am still disappointed and tired of the whole thing. Maybe we need some time to cool things down. Maybe things would get better...or so I hope.

'I love walking in the rain, cause no one knows I'm crying'

Personality Defect

A lot had happened in just two days, made me realized that I have a HUGE problem with my personality...but sometimes I wonder, do I have to carry the full responsibility of all the things that had happened?

I am not a perfectionist, but when it comes to academic wise, I do hope that I could score higher in coursework marks. I am not a bright student, just a mediocre, nothing more than average student. I do not know since when I have high expectations towards my coursework marks, especially in assignments, presentations, and even for lab session..maybe this cause me to be so 'aggressive' sometimes..

I know I kinda turned into a bitch on Monday night, by telling my group mate A to change the way she present last minute ( we were suppose to present at Tuesday, and it was already 11.30am on Monday). I know she is a person that makes a lot of preparation no matter in what she does, but the moment I listen to her presentation when we were practicing, a bitchy thought comes into my mind " did you ever read that assignment??". After practicing, I ask her straightaway..do you understand your part (oh no, a huge mistake here), then why your explanation was like that? Then, she started to 'argue' with me...which caught both me n my another friend B in shock.. I heard from B later that she cried after that, cause I asked her to change her speech last minute and she was so stressed..

Another case yesterday..I 'argued' with my group mate C during lab session, in front of Dr Han! It was just a small confusion and usually, we will redo what we had done. Maybe it's because of stress (with Monday night's case, all those test coming up and not to mention Dr Han presence in the lab..) I started to 'argue' with her...small argument really, but the impact it caused..

The thing that makes me really sad is, C heard from B what happened to A and told B that she thinks that I am not reasonable, and I always do not accept other people's opinion.

I agree that I am kinda hardheaded, but I do always tell you guys to remind me when I start to loss myself...it is not that I do not accept other's opinion, but when we know we could do better by doing it this way rather than the other way, didn't you wanna try to do better? And this is all during academic only, I do accept you guy's opinion in other stuffs!

I am seldom a follower, but not trying to be a leader either...I don't even know where am I now.. or what I want anymore...I guess B is right, I should change myself to become a soft spoken person, just do my stuffs, do not stand out, etc, etc..a completely different 180 degree changing into a new me..

But will changing makes everything better? I guess I have to change, maybe those who does not like my personality in taking charge a little happier.....

So stressed, can't focus on my revision, and I have around 4 test, 1 quiz and 3 reports lining up till next week...