A line that makes everything different

Few more days, to be exact, three more days, including today, we will be having the last last paper in final for this semester. Principles of Biotechnology. Everyone is every excited, starting to switch gear to holiday mood. Yup, it has been a long year. From January till September, two crazily, hectically packed semester (last semester's timetable which were insane and this semester's subjects)..of course everyone is looking forward for a good rest..

Industrial training is going to start soon. I will have to go to KL after returning to home for a week soon.

I was ecstatic for the coming holiday...too many things happened in this few months, I need a break. I was ecstatic for the industrial training...finally, I could live in a place with malls or any sort of entertainments just few minutes away after about 7 years. But now, I wasn't.

A bad news came to my family last week. I was looking so much forward to go home, am still now.. but now I know, the atmosphere will be different from what I imagined before this..it will be kinda sombre. It's not like I wanna run away from it, it's just that I dunno how to face it. Instead of feeling ecstatic for industrial training, suddenly the mood was down one notch, from ecstatic to well, maybe 'happy' might be good enough to describe it.

Well, there's no way to turn back everything now. I remembered one of the birthday wishes of both KaSwin and Sam made this month: I wish that one wish of my friends will come true. I have one wish now. I wish that all my family members are healthy. I wish that the condition is positive and is treatable..(this is some issue I cannot share here).

I believe in fairies, I believe in God, I believe in religions, I believe in Science. But now, FAITH is the only thing I could rely on. Be strong for the sake of the family!

Sleeping Phobia?

According to Wikipedia...

Somniphobia: persistently abnormal fear of sleep. This condition is often triggered by maladaptive or psychological triggers such as PSTD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)

Nope, I didn't have any of those. Never been in trauma..

Been facing insomnia for more than a week. Took more than an hour trying to fall asleep. Exam period. Stress. Quiet normal for students, is it?

But when I finally get to sleep without waking up every 30 minutes, I started to have really weird long dreams that shift from scene to scene, especially when I was sleeping at night. So weird because it seems so real, makes me really uncomfortable..

Can't recall how many weird dreams I had made this week alone....Great, now I'm afraid of sleeping...

I'm emotionally exhausted. Sooo tired...

When stress becomes distress

I remember reading an article in The Star months ago about STRESS..

Basically, stress could be differentiated into two categories: EUSTRESS and DISTRESS

Eustress: gives one a feeling of fulfillment, positive feeling = healthy stress

Distress: negative stress, pain, anxiety, etc...


The condition of me yesterday: stress
The condition of me now: distress? nope, more like BREAKING DOWN!

Is it just me? Felt like the syllabus is at least twice or trice as much compared to last semester..

Was studying physiology last night, rushing like hell, trying to finish at least once....suddenly my mind starts to nag me about biochemistry. So, I prepare a list of pathway, close my eyes, and cincai randomly pick a pathway...voila, gluconegenesis. Took me more than 5 minutes to write it down, plus forgotten the enzyme phosphoenolpyruvate carboxykinase.

Was studying microbiology just now, suddenly think about abscisic acid..

Tried to sleep the moment I felt tired, but keep tossing n turning around until I'm fed up. Give up sleep, continue study, but my mind felt sooooo saturated.

OMG? No point asking for God's or Buddha's help right now..continue study!!